


Small But Also Big

by showgirlsteve



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Artist Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Domestic Fluff, M/M, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-30
Updated: 2015-03-30
Packaged: 2018-03-20 11:26:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3648588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/showgirlsteve/pseuds/showgirlsteve
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Well,” Bucky says, after none of their attempts to erase the red star from his arm merit any success. “Guess we’ll just have to cover it up.”</p><p>He looks at Steve. “Me?”</p><p>“Yeah, you, who else am I going to let get at my shoulder like that?”</p><p>“I just,” Steve stutters. “It’s been a while since I painted anything, is all. Might not be very good.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Small But Also Big

**Author's Note:**

> Title from a Neil deGrasse Tyson quote, "Those who see the cosmic perspective as a depressing outlook, they really need to reassess how they think about the world. Because when I look up in the universe, I know I'm small but I'm also big. I'm big because I'm connected to the universe, and the universe is connected to me."
> 
> This was written for the following tumblr prompt: "How about a bit of Stucky? How about Bucky being sick of the star on his metal arm, blood red and a reminder of the weapon he used to be. How about him picking at the paint when he thinks no one's looking and not being open enough about it do ask Steve to remove it directly, but casually asks if he can use some paint remover. And then Steve offering to paint something for the new him..."
> 
> If you think there are any tags I should add, please let me know.

Steve brings Bucky home during the second week of March, rolling into New York with an off season snow storm that gives him a great excuse to hole up indoors with enough supplies for two super soldiers. The both of them have a chance to get settled before anybody starts poking around. When Stark turns up unannounced in the first week of April to invite Steve to live in his tower, Bucky tells him to give it some serious thought before turning him down.

The move into Avengers Tower in the second week of April. Steve notices the missing turpentine halfway through the third.

He still has the habit of carefully tracking his use of any art supplies, a holdover from being a poor student that had to make them stretch. It may be unnecessary now, but Steve doesn’t think there is anything wrong with being conscientious, with taking care of things meant to last. Stark, or maybe whoever Stark had hired to set this place up and move Steve over, had noticed his sad little easel in the corner of his living room, but ignored the dust around it and given him his own studio.  (Steve goes into the room seven times before touching a canvas. The first time, he glanced at the shelf of paints and ran right back out. The fifth time, he set everything up to paint and only noticed after he was gone that he still had a brush with no paint on it in his hand.)

Today, Steve goes into the studio without announcing his intentions out loud. (It’s just that it’s been _so long, and -_ ) He sets a canvas on his easel in a rush that he thinks might be comical if anyone were to see, and slashes a mark across it with the first color he grabs. _There_ , he thinks, _you started. Hardest part done._ He reaches for the turpentine he’d set out on a previous attempt to paint, and realizes there is at least a third less in the jar than what he remembers.

Nobody but Steve would be painting here, and Steve hasn’t been painting.

A closer look around the studio finds a slightly red-stained rag sitting alone in the plastic-lined trash can. Steve frowns at it.

“It, uh,” says Bucky from the hallway. His shirt has the sleeves ripped off and his hand is clasped around the metal shoulder of his opposite arm. “It didn’t work.”

Steve raises his eyebrows as he raises the rag. “Looks like it did something, at least. We’ll find something stronger.”

They find tutorials online of how to safely strip paint from metal. Bucky concedes that it would be a lot easier for Steve to be the one trying to remove the paint, but the extra strength from having a better angle doesn’t do much. Three chemical solutions, two attempts at sanding or scrubbing the paint off, and one awkward attempt to soak Bucky’s shoulder in baking soda and boiling water later (“I’ve spent hours in hundred degree weather waiting for a shot before, Steve, it isn’t going to _boil off._ ” “It was worth a shot, Bucky!”) the red star is faded a bit, and the edges are less defined, but there isn’t as much of a difference as either of them had expected.

“Well,” Bucky says. “Guess we’ll just have to cover it up.”

He looks at Steve expectedly. “Me?”

“Yeah, you, who else am I going to let get at my shoulder like that?”

“I just,” Steve stutters. “It’s been a while since I painted anything, is all. Might not be very good.”

“Sure it’ll be just fine,” Bucky tells him, his tone dismissive. He lays his flesh hand against where Steve’s hand is rubbing at the smudged star.

(Years ago, Steve thinks, Bucky would have rested his head for a while against their joined hands. Today he pats Steve’s hand awkwardly after a quiet moment passes and makes an excuse to leave the room. It’s still miles better than where they were even a month ago, though.)

Bucky decides he doesn’t like the smell of the art studio, or the quiet, so they settle on the couch in front of the television. Bucky’s halfway through an episode of Bill Nye the Science Guy by the time Steve has everything he needs sorted out on the coffee table in front of him. (Jane had made a joke about the show, and Darcy insisted they watch at least one episode instead of just looking it up, and soon it wasn’t uncommon to find the show playing in the background noise of their apartment.  It was a good way to catch up on newer concepts people didn’t think to explain without feeling bogged down by massive amounts of _research_ , and the calm, even tones were relaxing for either of them on their not-so-great days. They also watch a lot of How It’s Made.)

“You have to use _all the space_ ,” says Bill Nye, as he talks about crystal growing and metal melting experiments. “When you’re in space.”

Steve sees how attentively Bucky is watching the program, and suddenly knows what he is going to paint.

A different episode entirely is playing by the time Steve realizes Bucky is watching him work instead of looking at the television. Apparently nutrition is not as interesting as the way Steve scrunches his face while he mixes colors.

When Steve is done, the star is still there, but it isn’t red anymore. It’s a swirl of blue and purple clouds, with a glowing orange and white outline that bursts into the darker blue that covers the rest of Bucky’s shoulder before fading into lazy swirls where it meets the metallic color of the rest of his arm. Round pinpricks of light freckle the area.

Bucky was always fascinated by outer space, but the images he saw as a kid weren’t anything like this. Space was vast and black and cold, but Steve’s taken it and created something amazingly beautiful.

“Kind of thought you would have painted your shield,” says Bucky.

“It’s not _my_ arm,” says Steve, clearly offended that Bucky thought he would do such a thing without asking him first. His voice gets softer. “Do you want something like that, though? I could come up with something, start over, I –“

He’s cut off by Bucky’s lips against his own, soft, and so quick Steve’s not sure at first it really happened. It’s their first kiss since 1945. Bucky kisses him again, still close-mouthed, but with more conviction.

“It’s perfect,” he says. “Just perfect, Stevie.”

He curls his metal fingers against the back of Steve’s neck and leans his forehead against Steve’s shoulder.

 

**Author's Note:**

> [Visit me on tumblr!](http://showgirlsteve.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Kudos are great, I love you forever for comments.


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